Summer lovin...

What a lovely time I have had lately...I feel so happy..I feel so alive and i feel so loved..and i adore it. Mr. Workaholic and I have finally come to a crossroad and it feels like we chose the same road and were walking it together..i just feel so cared for so appreciated so important...and its a good good feeling. I have spent the last week or two in a loved up existance..its so different..its seems so real and so comfortable and trustful...so far so good...but my mind is telling me not to get too excited just yet..something is bound to get fucked up..murphys law..im just waiting for something to bring me out of this blissful existence..waiting for myself to fuck it up as so many times before...but right now i am enjoying this feeling..dwelling in the joy of feeling that i have this lovely something with someone i like..

Mr Big contacted me yesterday..but i dont even care enough to write about that. or well..this is is how it is: .i honestly don't even know why i dragged him along for as long as i did..i guess out of boredom..im so done and over it and i will never go there again. I havent told him that he can delete my number..i havent told him how ridiculouslu little i care anymore..because it doesnt even matter enough for me to waste my time explaining anything to him..he wont get it..but he will notice..by my responses that im done im not there anymore... im not even angry or sad or anything..it is what it is..it was what it was.. but its not now and its not the future...

Mr. Big: Stay.
Carrie: I can't.
Mr. Big: Why not?
Carrie: Because, dear friend, you and I are like that red wall. It's a good idea in theory, but somehow it doesn't quite work.