Some pics from the sweden trip :)

Recuperating in Sweden

I have been home in Sweden for about a week..or maybe a bit more and it's been lovely.

My sister got married yesterday and I held a nervewrecking speech for her..and them. It was a beautiful wedding...Oh Love...isn't it just amazing...

I'm flying back to New York on tuesday and I can't say I'm all that excited about it..I'm loving the silence and the fresh air of sweden..even Stockholm is just so clean and silent compared to New York..
I love love love New york but i'd really like to stay for another week here in Sweden..it's just so serene..

Shouldn't have to be a reason for you to apologize..

So much for being on top. So much for thinking some people can change..so much for hoping...

I'm so sick and tired of people apoligizing to me..here's an extract of a song from Tayolr Swift that I feel kind of speak to me right now..SHE'S talking about infidelity.I'M talking about people who continuosuly break you down, continue to hurt you and you keep giving them chances and I have had enough. Mr Big:

I shouldn't be asking myself why
You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet...

And baby you know all the right things: to say
But do you honestly expect me to believe
We could ever be the same...
You say that the past is the past, you need one chance


Or even more fitting from Taylor Swift:

I've been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down
And it's taken me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again,
But not this time around

This is the last straw
There's nothing left to beg for
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry,

And Mr Workaholic has gotten so much better at everything..just a few little kinks I'd like to straighten out there..but that can wait..as long as we are making progress which we are. I guess maybe I needed to just know that Mr Big is never worth ruining my good relationships for..THat's the second time I have had him in the middle of it all same thing with Mr Ambitious..I had to have that little pice of excitement..that little asshole on the side that kept me on the edge..
Well times are diffeent now. This ws the last time and I don't even like Mr Big the way I used to..this was more about just getting back up on top of him and I failed it again I guess..or I dont know..he just proved to me that he is the same that he always has been and I wont take it anymore. there are no more chances to be given out.Its just not worth it on any level.

If youre going to see a doctor...I have a warning for you!

I have been putting off going to the doctor for a few days because its always a bit of a hassle to go and it's annoying with all the paperwork etc..but after my foot sterted hurting like hell I had no choice anymore and boooy did I choose the wrong doctor to FINALLY go to!?!? My doctor made me feel soo unfomfortable and insulted and awkward and annyed as well as annoying for coming in..If anyone ever thinks of going to DR Qiu on 141 E 55th St in New York all I can say is: DON'T..she's super rude unattentive uninterested and makes you feel like shit for stepping into her office.
There you go....just saved your day....in case you googled her :)

Use Somebody

...

I’ve Been Roaming Around....Always Looking Down At All I See.

Painting Faces, Building Places I Can’t Reach.

You Know That I Could Use Somebody. You Know That I Could Use Somebody.

Someone Like You....Someone like you and all you know and how you speak......

Back again!

Finally back! Blogger has been shutting me out of my blog again...it has kept logging me in as som other user on my own computer..well well..long story short: I'm back..and hopefully that was just some temporary glitch!

Hope everyone is enjoying the summer..I sure am!!! I am so happy lately...everything just seems to be falling into place..Life is such a journey..and this is a high..but I also know that a low will come eventually..so I am going to just enjoy this amazing time of my life.. I am happy, I feel free, I feel good about myself and the people in my life..I feel great...Life is grand.

Amazeballs as Perez Hilton would have said..or my favourite..AMAZEBALLSACK..it got stuck in my head a few days ago and yeah If youve been reading this blog before you know Im an obsessive person...AMAZEBALLSACK!

Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough

Lovely Is The Feelin' Now
Fever, Temperatures Risin' Now
Power Is The Force The Vow
That Makes It Happen It Asks No Questions Why
So Get Closer
To My Body Now Just Love Me
'Til You Don't Know How

Keep On With The Force Don't Stop
Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough
Keep On With The Force Don't Stop
Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough
Keep On With The Force Don't Stop
Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough
Keep On With The Force Don't Stop
Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough

Touch Me And I Feel On Fire
Ain't Nothin' Like A Love Desire
I'm Melting
Like Hot Candle Wax Sensation
Lovely Where We're At
So Let Love Take Us Through The Hours
I Won't Be Complanin'
'Cause This Is Love Power



Enough with the Michael Jackson Mania right??? hahahah I cant stop!!

Moon Walk!

Wow I really really regret never going to see a Michael Jackson concert...not just for the phenomenal music but also for the incredible dancing genius he was...check him out:
al

Playing the players...

I have had a few rewarding days..
had a great date with Mr Workaholic last night..so I'm positive about that. We'll see what's going to happen there..I'm not going to hold my breath again. I feel in control though.Finally. At least for now.

Even more rewarding is that I have finally got a little bit of revenge on last summers obsession: Mr Big. We have been in touch a bit lately (just for fun of course I know where I stand this time) and its been amazing to finally be the one who's on top of the game..the one deciding whats going on. I totally played him these last few days and I know it might not have been the nicest thing but it felt so fucking nice to just be able to be like "fuck you right back"..for everything that you have done and the positions you put me in suddenly the game has changed and you want me more than i want you. I'm n charge. He got so angry and confused..guess the player doesnt like to be played..hahahah...sorry but he totally deserves it..and I even called him out on it. he cant expect respect if he doesn't give it...he's just so fun though. there's something so strangely exciting about being in touch with him..he just has a way of entertaining me through his texts and he really keeps a conversation going unlike mr Workaholic. However, this time around I know exactly what to expect and I am not buying his words or excuses or games. It's on my terms.

Summer is here!

For anyone who hasnt been readint his blog before this is how I used to feel once upon a time:

http://city-starling.blogspot.com/2008/06/open-letter-for-my-own-mr-big.html