So little time...

and so much to do! I'm sorry I havent written in ages! It's been insane..absolutely crazy..I dont even know where to begin anymore..
The last few weeks since I got back from spain have been so intense..summer is here and i have been in the hamptons every weekend with some friends..i have been out partying almost every night of the week. i dont really know why but for some reason this seems to be my story every summer..going absolutely crazy partying.
Today I'm at work trying to clean everything up for my replacemnt who is starting next week.
i never thought id say it but i think im ready to go. im ready to leave my beloved new York. Not leaving quite yet though but I have definetly gotten used to the thought..

i finished things up with mr big.I didnt even see him i just wrote him an sms expalining i couldnt do it anymore..in the end it just dawned on me that he would never be who i wanted him to be..i have written countless letters to myself ( yeah im kind of a drama queen as im sure youve already figure out by now) trying to figure out and justify to myself why i did the right thing by telling him i couldnt see him anymore..but in the end it just comes down to integrity and pride. And the way it was..i just couldnt let it go on for my own psychological wellbeing..