Partyyy

Haven't actually been going out too much since I came from New york but went out in Stockholm last weekend..just found a pic on one of those websites that take pics..thought it was kind of cute ... :)




xxx

Mamma mia!

Just came back from the movies..saw mama mia..it was such a feel good movie..i can recommend it. :)

Thoughts...

The past few days have felt kind of long..I think I am ready to leave now..Kind of ready for something new and exciting..ready to start my new life…I have no idea what to expect but I am getting tired of living in limbo. Right now Im not living my real life..its the longest time I have been in Sweden for like 3 years—im loving spending time with friends and family but I am also getting really really ready to start MY life..right now it seems so vague. What is my real life? I have never even been to the island I am moving to.
I am looking forward though…
Being home for too long almost makes you realize too much..you cant even make excuses anymore..for not seeing certain people or for some people not making an extra effort.its like..wow.you kind of see some things differently..some relationships are stronger than others..when you only ever see people for a very limited time like two times a year its not as clear as it is when you have more time…..friendships come and go..its the reality of life. People change..some for the better some for the worse..and who am I to judge? Simpy…there are friends of mine who aren’t as close as they used to be..there are friends I didn’t see myself drifting apart with and there are friendships who have proven to last and have grown. It is interesting and it is strange..it kind of makes me wonder about a lot of things

Too many thoughts…Need to sleep now..but I am ready to get my life started. I am soo ready.

Closer to my goal!

Had a great weight this morning! Stayed in last night instead of going out..but tonight I'm defintely going so I might ruin the amazing progress.AAhh I love being this motivated..only 2.8kilos left to go!!! This is me on my walk in the forest...its weird..everytime i take a walk I see a swedish celebrity..hahah..like news anchors and famous tv people mostly..but so far its been everytime..what a hotspot!! hahaha

Some office inspiration...

So, I managed to find some inspiring looks at style.com...What I love about fashion is that you can kind of transform yourself into whatever and whoever you want to be for a moment. So right now I'd lke to look like a..chic businesslady.


look 1: Loving the high waisted dressypants paired with a cute top. Even the necklace works..




look 2: Zara, simple and elegant but gorgeous and a little romantic at the same time. Love the blouse and its dreamy sleaves!




look 3: Versace, long cardigan paired with a belt. cute! Also liking the oversized jacket...but im not sure it would look good on me...



look 5:Alexander Wang,loving the pencilskirt and the vest together like that. This kind of look would ofcourse have to be made a lot more appropriate (no ripped stockings and alittle longer skirt).



look 6:Can't rember the designer..think it might be Dsquared. I like the beige dress paired with the cropped jacket. Its classic but with a little twist. Chic! Now..I'l be on a caribbean island..so i dont know how much i'll be wearing stockings and stuff..but I lovvve the black stockings and how they kind of make the look so "autumny", elegant and welldressed.



look 7: Lanvin, pure inspiration. I would never wear those materials to work but i like how theyve paried a dress with a pair of dressy pants like that. its really cute but still classy when you wear it right.


look 8: Versace...loving this simple but elegant dress.Could wear dresses like these in so many variations and colors.

Wow..that was easier said than done.

I dont even know where to begin finding the looks i kind of have in mind..i just started googling and i got so overwhelmed by all the artiles and stuff thats out there...Maybe I'll do it tomorrow instead! ;)

Nighty!

What to wear?

Ive been thinking about how to dress latey,was having this conversation with my sister today..it's hard. All I really want is to dress hippiesh and chic..hahaha..sounds silly but you know..tunics sheer flowy fabrics, light colours..huge sleeves, those flared jeans, big bangles etc..but i realize i will be in banking in 2 weeks and i need to look professional.
So: Ineed to find like jackets and pants and shoes that fits that kind of life! It could be fun irght? I could still try to make it slightly edgy. I'm looking online now. Will return with looks! :)

What about something like this? ;)

I feel great!

Im on my way.I can feel it in every little inch of my body. Finally Im getting that rush. Ever had that rush of knowing you can accomplish something? Just knowing that you'll wake up and things will be great? It might soudn a little bizarre but i love it when im "in the zone"..when im totally devoted to something. This time it's the new me.Right now my diet is going so well and I'm really really really motivated. No I wont turn this into a diet blog..but I almost feel like it. Thats how great I feel!
After only a few days im actually really close to my goal..since this morning I have 3.8 kg to go (8.36 lbs) Its pretty damn close considering i only started a little while ago wanting to loose 7kilos (15.4lbs). So yeees..its going well..and tomorrow is going to be an even better day on the scale.

Ok, Nicky Hilton is a pretty bitchy girl (mhm..and not a very nice sister either- she was making out with stavros niarchos-paris ex- in the bathroom last time i was at One Oak in New York) but she has an amazing body! :)

A new life

So good morning..I thought I'd tell you all about my new conviction. I am going to loose 5 kilos before I head o Luxemburg with work..that leaves me about 11 days to get in top shape. Actually already lost about 2..so I really wanted to loose 7 but hey..

I met up with a friend from new york a few days ago and she was like " oh my boyfriend didnt think id recognize you" I was like ..why not? "oh cause you said you were going to loose all that weight over the summer"..and then it kind of struck me that i had completely forgot about that and now all of my friends in new york think theyre gonna see this amazingly thin girl coming off the plane and the reality is/was another. That got me motivated. I will be back in New York for a few days before I leave for the cayman..and I have these fantasies I'll run into Mr Big and look absoutely great and he wont ever be able to get it again. Hahah. I know I wont run into him but I still kind of use it as my motivation just because. I am getting really motivated by Kate Bosworth also. She is so beautiful.
So Im geting started and Im really motivated..I have been taking long walks in the forest and I havent had any alcohol for a week.. I gues sthat could change tonight since I'm back in stockholm with a bunch of friends who all seem to want to go out all the time..but so far so good I feel great!

I almost forgot to tell you guys my new discovery..

I took care of my best friend's chihuahua for a few days and..take this..I don't think I necessarily want a dog anymore!!! I don't know if I have really gone into my dog obsession in this blog..but I have been visiting pet stores literally every sunday in New York..just to hold those litle puppies..





ahhaa i never thought I'd say it..but seriosuly after 2 days of having to walk that dog and kind of plan my daily routine around him I knew I couldnt do it..I'm way too selfish for that right now. I couldnt!!




Still love that baby though..the best thing was sleeping with him..I'd wake up in the middle of night by him changing positions and cuddle up next to me under my blanket...Take a look..HOW CUTE IS HE?? HOW COULD YOU NOT LOOOVE THAT LITTLE DARLING?

Long day

What a long day..couldnt sleep last night. Woke up early and have been hanging out with my mom sister and my nephew all day...i'm not complaining..it's lovely to be able to just hang out with the family for once..but is it really really bad if I admit that I am getting a little tiny bit bored..It's been 16 days since I left New York..it feels like an eternity ago.

So just because, here are some pics from the city I left behind...

Back in Stockholm

I'm back in stockholm where most of my friends are (thats me holding the dog!)..things will probably be a little more hectic from now on!

I'm still determined and stuck on keeping that calm feeling..I'm so going out to look for books and stuff on stressing less etc..we'll see what I can find..Wouldnt it be fun to just become one of those spiritual hippie people?? hahaha...

A whole lot of thinking going on..

I think its pretty good for me to be here in Sweden right..I have been in stockholm for the most part but now im in our house up north and i have started to think a lot. Im honestly not even interested in going out drinking..i just feel like i have found some kind of inner peace that i need to try to channel for later for when i really need it. I feel content and happy..(probabaly partly because i havent been drinking in such a long time..drinking is no good for me.i tend to get a little depressed by it..not because im unhappy but because my body just kind of shuts down after a while- get massive hangover- a feeling of suffocation,mild anxiety..Haha i guess i should add that im not exactly a moderate drinker...)

The thing is..when I arrived from New York I was s distraught and caught up in a million imaginary problems (what am i doing? what have i been doing? why doesnt mr. big like me the way i want hi to? why do i let hm use me? where am i going in life..etc)..right now I have let go of everything and I sleep peacefully and wake up peacefully..maybe its the nature or the quiet or the closeness to my family..or maybe its all of it. I am inspired to keep this feeling alive and kicking..I feel like I am seeing clearly and i want to learn more about this. I want to find a way to keep this feeling and maybe even make it grow into something I can carry with me at all times..Am I making sense? Psychobabbler..i know. But hey, i feel really good...is that so bad? :)

I can't help it...

I Have to post this song..it's hilarious..and its totally my psycho ass talking about Mr. Big. The difference I guess is that the stupid other girl wasnt a blonde..she was a brazilian supermodel working for chanel, lancome, ysl, dior etc...haha i actually googled her a few weeks ago..of course shes done victorias secret too..yeah she's not easy for me to love!!
but ok..this is for her.. ;)



To listen to this you have to turn off the radio thats at the end of this page! Just scroll down and pause it!

Once you start again its hard to stop!

The last months have been so hectic. i have been doing something every second and i literally havent had a second to blog. I really forgot how much fun it can be! Ahhhhh so narcissistic! hahahaha!

I feel so much bette right now..its just that the last months have been the biggest emotional roller coaster of my life. My heart, my mind has been allover the place.


So as you all know i love to obsess about my so called love life...so heres the update on that:
I left without saying good bye to Mr.Big. It felt like the right thing to do. He didnt deserve any good byes from me. Im still kind of surprised by how much i cared about him..and im not going to deny that hes sometimes still on my mind- but in a different way. a more surreal and i guess bitter -i-know-its-really-over-and-i-was-ridiculous-for-ever-caring-about-him kind of way. It helps to know that he cant reach me. Not that i think he has tried. I'm sure he has tried to text me once or twice (my american number is cancelled). I just hope he's a little disturbed.but thats probably hoping too much.

Mr Model and i ended on fairly good terms..he'll always be a bit special for me but i dont think i could ever see him as anything else than a body anymore. I mean I used to like him so much...but this time around it was just different..he was a distraction-not an obsession..good to know that i can eventually move on..haha i actually posess that ability. Im hoping mr big will be nothing to me in a week or two..

Finally!

I know!!it took me a long time!!! but Im back!

I've been having some problems logging in to my account but it finally worked! Yey! I guess blogger is trying some new changes..

So yeah..a few weeks have passed..some really dramatic and fun weeks for sure..a lot of emotions swirling around me. I dont even know if I should go over everything thats happened because in a way its all the same. My last month in new york was non stop partying, hamptons trips, dinners with friends..a few crazy nights with mr model, a few angry nights obsessing over mr big and lots of tears and laughter with my friends. the last week i only focused on my friends..cause in the end they are what matter to me and not those craaaazy oys ive ben surroundingmyself with..

I left New York feeling like I was about to break in a thousand different pieces. I seriously cant believe Im not going to return to live there now..it feels really really weird. I feel particularly sad to leave my amazing friends. I have been in sweden for aboout 2,5 weeks now and i miss them! I have amazing friends here too.but i miss my new york babies.





Being home is great too.it was a bit of a change at first and i guess theres still something inside of me that still hasnt really adapted to the pace of this country. Nothing at all gaianst Sweden..its beautiful and wonderful..but arriving in a gray rainy sweden didnt exactly help my mood in the beginning.


Bye my beloved New York..I'll be back...