A whole lot of thinking going on..

I think its pretty good for me to be here in Sweden right..I have been in stockholm for the most part but now im in our house up north and i have started to think a lot. Im honestly not even interested in going out drinking..i just feel like i have found some kind of inner peace that i need to try to channel for later for when i really need it. I feel content and happy..(probabaly partly because i havent been drinking in such a long time..drinking is no good for me.i tend to get a little depressed by it..not because im unhappy but because my body just kind of shuts down after a while- get massive hangover- a feeling of suffocation,mild anxiety..Haha i guess i should add that im not exactly a moderate drinker...)

The thing is..when I arrived from New York I was s distraught and caught up in a million imaginary problems (what am i doing? what have i been doing? why doesnt mr. big like me the way i want hi to? why do i let hm use me? where am i going in life..etc)..right now I have let go of everything and I sleep peacefully and wake up peacefully..maybe its the nature or the quiet or the closeness to my family..or maybe its all of it. I am inspired to keep this feeling alive and kicking..I feel like I am seeing clearly and i want to learn more about this. I want to find a way to keep this feeling and maybe even make it grow into something I can carry with me at all times..Am I making sense? Psychobabbler..i know. But hey, i feel really good...is that so bad? :)