Fuck you very much!

I hate the hangover days. Today has been aboslutely horrible...alcohol always makes everything feel much worse than it is the day after. Ugh!

Sometimes I really wonder if I made the right decision in coming back? I love New York but its also such a straining city in so many ways and there is a certain mentality that you cant get away from thats no good here. the elitism the hierarchies the cynical bitternss that everybody kind of drags along with them..hate that shit..but im so wrapped up and dragged in to it still.

I need to find myself a new boy to date. Or preferably 5 new ones to keep me busy! I am sooo over Mr Workaholic today..all he does lately is disappoint me...I have no more patience for him and his social incapabilities. He is either a big liar or a seeeerious workaholic..or...he's just not that into me. It's really awful to like someone and not feel that its reciprocated. It's not often that I am put in this situation and frankly I'm not sure how to deal with his constant excuses and shortcomings. i guess I should walk away but its so hard. I don't know why I keep hoping things will change. I wish I wouldn't care! how do you get someone out of your head? If I knew I wouldn't have to blog about all of my frustrations :)